"I am the Shit" or "Knowledge is Power"

To whom it may concern,

Look out.. Move aside when I walk by cause I'm the shit, and you aren't.

You couldn't possibly understand the complexity of my being, which I can safely assume due to your inability to use a mouse correctly when operating a computer or notice that the numlock is keeping you from getting work done.

People, please start bowing for in your eyes I appear to be everywhere at once. I can fix things you can't see, simply because you don't know where to look, or how.

Have a question? Make sure its something useful and not just stupid person gibberish that mentions nothing specific what so ever. Tell me what you are experiencing and don't leave out things that happen that are contrary to what you want to happen. Those are called 'errors' and they must be noted.

And yes! I know exactly whats going on behind the scenes as it happens, I have a telepathic link that joins me to the servers we use. It doesn't stop there because I'm linked to each and every person in this city, NAY, this country! When somebody anywhere accesses our files I know not only what files, but why they are accessing them and how they knew they were there.

So fear me, love me, and show your appreciation to me by assuming I am at all times deeply invested in some sort of query or 'code' that is beyond your simple comprehension. Be afraid to knock at my door and please forget everything I ever said about emailing me when you have an issue. I must have been lying about not being able to keep track of all the problems, look at me! I'm obviously on top of it if it appears I am working tirelessly on resolving... something.

BTW.. Thanks for the cookies you baked me after I helped you at your desk a few days ago.